my mouth tastes like poor choices
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
