She is in my trunk
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize