I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
