The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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