508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
