She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize