My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You took a bar mat shot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This toilet bowl is my home.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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