Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
