who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
