I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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