i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
