Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
