i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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