I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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