That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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