Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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