I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
