No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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