He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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