i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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