I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
