Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
