dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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