So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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