Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
