You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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