Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize