Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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