before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
