she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
