ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
