So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
