If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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