I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
