Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
