Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
