Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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