my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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