I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize