He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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