My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
