Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
