I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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