I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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