I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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