I got chris browned last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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