Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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