Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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