I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
