A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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