i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
