just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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