guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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