We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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