Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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