Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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