apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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