This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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