Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
