My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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