Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
