They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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