i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
