I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
