trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
